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I consider myself a relatively modern man but I struggle to use the washing machine properly. I can restructure an organisation to be more efficient, untangle necklaces, build furniture, rewire small appliances & setup an HD TV without instructions, but I'm nervous about what drawer to put the different powders & liquids in & what setting to use as I know @mother_of_daughters will hang me out to dry if I ruin any of her or the other girls clothes. The thing I do know about washing machines is that the twins are drawn to them in the same way a drunk uncle is drawn to the dance floor at a wedding when any 80s tune is played. Let's hope they don't develop motion sickness or I'll be immediately replacing clean clothes with vomit covered ones. #yesihavefoodonmytop #whyicantifigurethisout #washingmachineinducedvomit #badhousehusband #dadproblems #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on Nov 25, 2016 at 12:28pm PST

Well that was fun. @mother_of_daughters is away with the eldest 2 so I have the twins. Delilah was up & down last night more than a yoyo who'd necked a crate of redbull. As a dad, I usually have inbuilt noise cancelling and can sleep through an thrash metal gig but last night was something else. The neighbours must have thought I was skinning cats with a wooden spoon at 3.30am - the noise was endless - the kind of noise that cuts through you & drains you of any memory of who you are or what you're doing until your brain dribbles out you ear. They seem to have forgotten the whole experience and moved on. I'll just scoop up my eye bags so they don't drag on the floor. To top it all, the car is broken so I can't get to my brother's birthday. A shocker of a day so far. #brainonthefloor #alongwiththeeyebags #brokencar #twins #comehomeplease #parenting #fatherofdaughter #dadlife #instadad

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on Nov 20, 2016 at 3:42am PST

we have A LOT of toys for the girls. Some hand-me-downs, some brand new. We offer up the hand made, ethically sourced, non toxic, bespoke blocks made from organic, carbon offset wood, lovingly sourced from Norway. They look down their nose at them with disgust, decide they're tosh and toss them to one side. Then they go on a rampage to find keys, my wallet, my phone, anything that resembles a remote control and plastic packaging. If that fails, they bug me until i give up the goods. Many mornings, you'll find me running around the house, quietly cursing the babies, who've hidden my cash / debit card and /or keys. guess I should get used to this as I hear teenage girls take the same stuff. #stophidingmyshit #pointlessexpensivetoys #allthebabieswantismywallet #girlstakemystuff #ishouldgetusedtoit #fatherofdaughters#dadlife #instadad

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on Oct 27, 2016 at 12:31pm PDT

Is it only me or do all men learn to sleep on an 8 inch strip at the edge of the bed? Irrespective of the size of the bed, or how many people are in it, I always find myself relegated to the 'man zone'. I've become so used to sleeping on this limited area of bed real estate, that I'm confident that I could sleep on top of a wall & not fall off. On the other side of the bed (the promised land), @mother_of_daughters sleeps like a star fish all night long, kneeing me in the back and generally complains about me coming to bed too late, being too cold or my foot encroaching onto her territory. At least the bed's nice and warm, even if the reception isn't sometimes! I hope that next Sunday, on #NationalLieInDay, I'll not only gain another hour in bed, but more space - but it's doubtful ! If you want to regain that hour (and some space for that matter) click in the link in my bio, loads of great prizes to be won @SimbaSleep #bedrealestate #livingontheedge #girls #twins #daughters #therestoomanygirls #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #gopro

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on Oct 23, 2016 at 12:00pm PDT

why is it that as soon as I come through the front door, I'm immediately forced to strap on my 'parenting UN' flack jacket & hard hat and dive into conflict resolution mode? Anya and Marnie are locked in a long, drawn out battle over the disputed lands of the sofa, the sovereignty of the blanket and who has rightful ownership of the much sort after SKY remote control. Sanctions are put in place to relieve the tension but both sides are showing little willingness to back down. The situation escalates - heated worded, threats to hostages safety (soft toys, clothing, sweets). The result - the TV going off and remote is hidden (in the cutlery draw). During all this Ottie played the role of Switzerland and didn't get involved. Ban Ki-moon could learn a thing or two from me. #wheredoyouhideyourremote #UNparenting #whyamialwaysinthemiddle #familyconflictresolution #adadsworkisneverdone #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on Oct 20, 2016 at 12:42pm PDT

Tomorrow is international day of the girl and I, more than most, am celebrating. I might be heavily outnumbered and outgunned, but I'm celebrating because my girls are strong independent young ladies that are growing up in a world that they can do anything they put their mind to (with a little encouragement). We strive for equality and see women as equals (and in my case, as superiors!). That said, in many places girls are seen as second class citizens and have limited opportunities to reach their full potential. This has to change. Go kiss your girls goodnight & encourage them everyday to reach for the stars. Tag a strong girl and share. #mygirlswearthetrousers #daughters #dayofthegirl #girlsareequals #girlsarestrong #sisters #mygirls #girlsareamazing #beproudofyoudaughters #fatherofdaughters #instadad #dadlife

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on Oct 10, 2016 at 12:39pm PDT

Why does bathtime always involve cramming as many family members into one of the smallest rooms in the house at the same time? I guess the eldest 2 like it as it's like a cheap version of the sea life centre. They get to watch these weird pink slippery things splash about and generally contort themselves out of these chairs while sucking the life out of some sponges. Clemmie and I are there just play life guards and crowd control. I should charge admission. Just avoid the dirty nappies at the door and the water EVERYWHERE. Actually, forget it - Health and safety would definitely shut us done. #waterstaysinthebathgirls #bathtime #sealifecentreathome #cheapentertainment #twins #mygirls #theyneverstayinthesechairs #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on Oct 3, 2016 at 1:11pm PDT

If we were in the newspaper tomorrow, the heading would read 'Team hooper smashes festival out of the park'. Anya had people applauding her awesome Street dancing to DJ fresh (while I dad danced behind much to her embarassment), Marnie wowed on lookers with her gymnastics, the twins made everyone double take as we walked passed, @mother_of_daughters looked amazing as always, and I carried everything else trailing behind in their wake and did multiple trips to car for forgotten items (I'm essentially their runner / fixer but im ok with that). Big up @thebigfeastival for a great weekend. Nice to come home without a hangover and a full belly of decent food. #smashedit #canstilldoitwithkids #festival #hometime #fatherofdaughters #instadad #parenting #twins #dadlife

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on Aug 28, 2016 at 1:14pm PDT

So our little family dynamics experiment begins. The girls left for #campbestival at 7am all excited (which will turn into the being annoying after about 10 mins in the car) so the twins and I are fending for ourselves. I'm sure this whole festival was orchestrated basically to test whether I can keep 2 babies alive, not trash the house and pack for holiday without assistance - we'll see........Dad rules have been invoked. ice cream for breakfast anyone? #dadrules #soloparenting #clemmieismoreexcitedthanthekids #festivalwidower #meandmygirls #fatherofdaughters #instadad #dadlife #twins

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on Jul 28, 2016 at 11:44pm PDT

I'm not usually a sloppy bag of blubby emotions but after 4 days of not having the eldest 2 around I'm really starting to miss them. Yes they are annoying and use me as a personal slave / climbing frame. Yes they are noisy and can drive me nuts. But they are mine and life isn't quite the same without my little partners in crime. (Note to self, must read this back when they are next hacking me off - they aren't all that bad really!) @philippajames #feelingalittleincomplete #comebackallisforgiven #family #missingmygirls #fatherofdaughters #instadad #dadlife #parenting #mygirls

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on Jul 25, 2016 at 12:36pm PDT